The Great Love of God

I wanted to share some thoughts with you that have so moved me I cannot help but exclaim them to you! I love you all...

I met with Dr. Zuber, one of my Moody professors, today for breakfast and initially I did not want to get up and go at 7 in the morning. But, I did and I am really glad that I did. Because today we talked about God's love and how in the Bible there is a very real sense that God loves some people more than he loves others. Consider your life compared to the homeless drug addict you find on the street. Some would say he or she deserves that life, right? However, I realized while we were talking today that God must love me a lot more than I often am willing to give him credit for. It is because of God's love that I am not living as one of the worst of sinners. Truthfully, it is because of God's love that I am not a drug-addicted prostitute myself. If I was left to my own desires and devices that is most likely where I would be; if I am being really honest. Sure, I would often like to think that I have played a role in my successes. I would like to believe that there is something morally excellent and praiseworthy within me that has kept me from such horrible things, but, if I am being honest I know that that is pridefully untrue. This something inside of me that likes to believe that my life is because I have "chosen correctly" and in some sense earned God's love. I like this because it sheds me in a really good light and makes me feel good about myself, and often time more importantly it makes me feel like I am better than other people. But, I did not even chose my family of origin or place of birth. Wow! the great love of God that is forever providing for a sinner like me. Always extending the invitation into intimacy and sweet surrender. His love goes ever before me...

I want to know and experience more of God's love! This whole idea moves me away from my pride and into a deep place of humility and unworthiness. The Great King of both heaven and earth has chosen to love me in such a way, that even though I deserve death and hell because if my sins in both thought and action, God would instead give me: health, food to eat, nice clothing to wear, money to survive on, a family that loves me, parents that sacrifice for me, friendships that challenge, edify and encourage me, an education, a safe place to live, a man who loves me and wants to spend his life with me, salvation, forgiveness, hope, peace, restoration -- all because of his great love! I couldn't possibly have chosen this for myself. Wow!

Jesus Christ will forever worthy of all my life and all my adoration because my God has given me grace upon grace, and the only question I have now is... Who am I?

Philippines 3: 1-9

verse 1 -

Delight yourself in the Lord and continue to rejoice that you are in Him (found to be his chosen and elect child).

verse 3 -

For we Christians are truly saved, we worship God in spirit and by the Spirit of God and exult and glory and pride ourselves in Jesus Christ alone(The Christian life is not dependent on what I do and my actions but in who I worship and place high in my life), and we put no confidence in the flesh and on outward privileges and physical advantages and external experiences.(There is no gain or reward in these things, because they have been given by God's grace alone, we have not earned them.)

verse 4 -

Though for myself I had grounds to rely on my flesh...(i.e. my personal successes, social and physical advantages and achievements)

verses 5-7 -

Baptized when I was 7 years old, from the wealth of the Caucasian race, born in the United States of America, a church-goer and a daughter of church-goers, as to the observance of the law I was a legalist. As for my zeal, I was a willful hypocrite within the church and by the peoples and laws standards of righteousness I was considered the best of Christians. But whatever former things I had that might have been gain (i.e. areas of pride) for me, I have considered them all loss for Christ's sake.

verse 8 -

Yes, furthermore I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him (my position to Christ). For his sake I desire the loss of everything (that I have pridefully considered my earned and deserved gain) and consider it all to be mere rubbish, in order that I might gain Christ, the goal.

My prayer: verse 9 -

That I might actually be found and known as in Christ not having any self-achieved righteousness that can be called my own, based on my perceived obedience to the rules and legalistic demands (a ritualistic uprightness and a supposed right standing with God that I believe I have earned), but instead possessing that genuine righteousness which comes through faith and utter dependance on Jesus Christ, which is the true right standing with God, which comes from God, by saving faith, as a gift.

Glory to God for the great thing that he has done!

Christ is still sufficiant today

I have been greatly comforted today through a Bible Study that I am doing with several women at my school. I have realized that everyone's pain and suffering is meaningful and substantial to them at that present time in their lives. Whether it be waiting to get married, being single and graduating college seemingly alone, or losing a loved one. I can not judge the severity of another persons pain in comparison to my own, because I will never understand their pain fully. Instead I hope to enter into that pain and try to understand it so that I might bring comfort and encouragement to them in their time of need. That is what Jesus Christ does for me. Rarely does he remove my painful circumstances but instead becomes present with me in them.

I can see that his grace is still sufficient and I find myself overwhelmed by his love and faithfulness to me after I time and again am so horrible to him. He is present still - speaking truth over me. I feel like a harlot. Oh that I might trust his love for me.

Elizabeth Elliot said that suffering is, "having what you don't want, or wanting what you don't have." If you have read my last blog that is where I find myself at this season in my life. Suffering can range in scope and severity, I am certain, but it is still suffering all the same. I was encouraged today to remember that what is good for my sins is good for my sorrows - the grace of God.

"After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10)
Amen!

Life lived daily on this planet describes the earthly reality of my circumstances. Painful. Lonely. Overwhelming. But there is another side - a heavenly side- a hope that I long to discover. I want to learn that even in the hardest of life's seasons I can actually grow in my awareness of God's presence. That God may become so large in my understanding that other "realities" slip into the background. He offers me himself, his love, his companionship, and his strength -- it is his grace! Is this not what I need? His companionship during this time particularly moves me. I need him near me. So, today I will choose to "Humble myself under God's mighty hand, that he might lift me up in due time. I will cast all my cares upon him because he says that cares for me." (1 Peter 5: 6&7)

The Truth About Me...

I am sick... I am sick of being strong, I am sick of pretending to be happy about something that I am not happy about, I am sick of hearing that it is only a matter of time, I am sick of all the lame comfort people try to give in order to help you get through a hard time when it never really helps at all. I am sick of long distance, I am sick of wedding planning, I am sick of it all.

I am fully aware of my anger and bitterness towards God. It is violent inside of me. It always seems like he cares so little for me in the hard circumstance of life. But, then again - who am I? I hate to feel! Does God even care? Why are you making me wait in pain and loneliness? Why is this my portion? I am so angry at you, God, for making me wait and do things that I have no desire to do! Why do you hold somethings out in front of me, that you know I want, and will not let me partake? I know that I am impatient and selfish. I am well aware. Another confession: I also hate the people who have what I want. I am tired of this - I am weary, broken, angry and depraved. I want to remain in my anger towards you because I want to taste it and let the hatred numb my sorrow. Why is it that in my pain you are silent?!

I am well aware of how sinful this sounds and of how sinful I am so let me take this time to confess the truth about who I am. I am presently a hopeless human being. I constantly lie to protect my self, my image and reputation, and the little sense of control I have over my life. I hate feeling like I have no control -- especially of my pain. I am so consumed with myself that I am the only one I see. Self absorbed and therefore unyieldingly selfish, I am. Also, I am an unashamed gossip. I enjoy talking about others negatively because it makes me feel better about myself. Truthfully - I like my sin. I know what it is (wrong) but it works for me. It makes me feel in control, I can ignore my pain and it give me things to talk about. I am full of pride and self-pity and I do wish this world revolved around me. This is me and this is the truthful condition of my heart.

I feel like I deserve better. I feel like I have served, striven, given, struggled, and been in school for what seems like forever. I have tried to remain positive. I feel like I am not getting to plan my wedding the way that I would have liked to. I miss Texas and can not stand Chicago weather. I feel like I am being punished. I feel like I am missing out on being single, as well as, in being in a relationship because I am stuck in the middle of both. Log-distance is horrible. I am never where I want to be. And all the while I am supposed to "feel so blessed and happy because at least I am engaged." Well, I don't feel that way, so tough! I am lonely, tied and hurting. I am not who I am supposed to be and I am not who I want to be! Good little Christian girl I am not!

What is the point in all this waiting other than to more completely convince me of how unprepared for marriage I really am! All I keep seeing is how horribly selfish and sinful I am - oh, JOY! And now as if it could not get any worse I get to get married and bring all my crap into a marriage with someone else - So sorry for my fear and lack of excitement! This feels like a death sentence. What am I doing to myself and my fiance? I must be nuts -- who in the hell believe that I can actually do this!-- What was I thinking.

This is me...

Repent

All through the New Testament God's call is to repentance --

The Greek word metanoeo, translated as repentance in the New Testament means "to change think differently about something or to have a change of mind."

So, my thoughts on this idea bring conviction to me again. I have so often "repented" and ask God to forgive me of my sins because as a Christian I know that I should do so. But honestly, I often times never have a change of mind about my sin (ex. lying) I just do not want to get into trouble, or I want to think that I am doing the right thing and therefore keeping God pleased. However, God knows my heart and how I truly feel. Maybe, God himself must bring my change of mind about my sins, or maybe I need to sit in the pain and frustration of my sins long enough to change my own mind. Maybe, I should humble myself and submit to God's word and then my mind will be changed about my sins and then bring me into repentance. Who knows?? The one thing I have realized is that I must have a change of mind concerning sin in order to be truly repentant, as God desires it. Meaning that repentance is a strong change of mind (conviction) that results in a change of my behavior.

• "Repentance is to leave the sin that I once loved before, and show that we in earnest grieve by doing so no more." - C.H. Spurgeon
• "Repentance is hating what we once loved and loving what we once hated." - Jim Elliff
• "There must be a divorce between you and your sins. Not a mere separation, for a season, but a clear divorce." C.H. Spurgeon

God's Love Pursues Us

"Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise."

In an interview about Cranmer, Ashley Null summarizes powerfully humanity's problem:

According to the Thomas Cranmer's anthropology, what the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. The mind doesn't direct the will. The mind is actually captive to what the will wants, and the will itself, in turn, is captive to what the heart wants. The trouble with human nature is that we are born with a heart that loves ourselves over and above everything else in this world, including God. In short, we are born slaves to the lust for self-gratification. That's why, if left to ourselves, we will always love those things that make us feel good about ourselves, even as we depart more and more from God and his ways. Therefore, God must intervene in our lives in order to bring salvation. Working through Scripture, the Holy Spirit first brings a conviction of sin in a believer's heart, then he births a living faith by which the believer lays hold of the extrinsic righteousness of Christ.

Prosperity and God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s

Watch this and see what you think??

Convicting Thoughts

Consider one circumstance that you want to change, and ask yourselves these questions: "Can Jesus be my delight and satisfaction in the midst of this difficult situation? Can I get to know Jesus better in this situation even if it does not change?"

YES!

Psalm 73

I liked this...

I want to give you a few things to think about practically when it comes to shepherding people to truth. On Thursday I’ll post when we are to “avoid such people” but for today here are three practical ways to shepherd people:

• Give people texts to read and then give them plenty of space to wrestle. I love strong, convincing theologically driven books. The Bible’s better.
• Listen. Don’t listen to respond. Listen. You’ll find that people usually have an aversion to truth because it is affecting something or someone very close to them. If you’ll listen and see past a specific theological agenda, you can minister to their hearts. Let me give you an example. The Village is reformed in theology. A few weeks ago after an especially clear presentation of God’s sovereignty over salvation a young man came up to me after service frustrated with what I taught. It didn’t take long to figure out someone very close to him wasn’t a believer. We prayed for his family member for 10-15 minutes and asked the merciful God of the universe to save. After we prayed together, he told me he needed to “learn more of what the Bible says about all this.” After feeling loved, cared for and then prayed with, he was much more open to hear the scriptures unpacked. I have found this to be the case more often than not.
• Be patient. Progressive sanctification is just that…progressive. Deep spiritual growth is far from a super highway; it’s more like a dirt path through a thick jungle. Encourage, pray, and be patient.
• Work diligently and passionately concerning your own spiritual life. It’s easier to say “hard” things if your life is marked by humility, grace, hospitality and steadfastness.

By: Matt Chandler (Pastor of The Village Church - Dallas, TX)

Angry Thoughts

Lately, I have been angry. Angry at myself and angry at God. Call this a confession, if you will. I have been really disappointed by life, lately.I am angry that I have not graduate from college yet, I am angry that I have to wait so long to get married when it seems like all my friends are getting married before me. I am angry that I can not drink alcohol, and I am angry because I feel excluded from things that others my age are not excluded from which makes me feel like a child. No one likes being left out. I am angry that Jake cannot find a job and our life together seems to be so halted. I feel like I am in prison in my own life. I lack excitement and joy. I find myself needing to blame someone or something for all my disappointments; which I am learning is my natural tendency. I want to know whose fault is it? I need to solve for something... I need to be in control so that I can stop feeling angry, but I am not in control and I cannot in myself stop being angry. I just want to scream! Maybe, God wants me in this place to wrestle...

Truthfully, I am just really sad, and it is scary to admit that because then I realize that my sorrow is very deep and overwhelming. Often, all I want to do is cry. I want to right now. I feel powerless over it. I also want joy. I want to be excited about the future, but I always seem to be reminded of what has been withheld from me. Regardless of why... it is ever present.

The truth -- I have been deceived, like Eve, into thinking that God is holding out on me. Which makes me seek out my own needs above the needs of others. I have the need to blame. This is selfish, too. I have realized being an adult can not be defined by what I am allowed to do, but by how I choose to act/respond in maturity to my circumstances and life. Maturity defines adulthood not freedom. I am realizing that I am less of an adult than I thought I was...

Especially in light of Christ, and Philippians 2. Christ did not claim his rights and freedoms as the God of the Universe when he went to the cross for me. He is the only one who is truly free to do as he wills and he denied himself. Christ emptied himself and died on the cross. I call that not doing something enjoyable. I also call that not doing what you want. Truly surrendered to his Father. I am humbled. This is the God who I serve. I am not like him at all, but I need him so much. If Christ had claimed his rights and not gone to the cross where would that have left me??

Lord Jesus,
Please help me to acknowledge you as supreme over my life. Forgive me for claiming my rights and not seeking to walk with you in surrender and love. Give me the grace to look at you rather than myself. I am sad. I do trust that you are able to handle all my hurt, and there is a lot of it. Please work in me and be glorified through me. Teach me your ways and let your truth be my joy (Psalm 119). -Amen.

The B.I.B.L.E. yes that is the book for me...

My feelings of inadequacy in my life are always and ever present. And I often find myself uttering the words "I just can not do this..." from under my breath. But, I am learning that God likes me in that place of inadequacy. Where I am completely aware of my lack of ability. It is in that place that I realize my need for him in the most deep and profound way. When I sit there for awhile I can sense his whisper saying, "Come my child and let me supply all that you need".

When everything else in this life falls at the waste side and/or fails me (because it is only destined to do so); the Word of the Lord remains. Like Ecclesiastes says it, all else is vanity, and meaningless. The Word of the Lord, the truth of God, is promised to stand forever 1 Peter 1: 23-25. It is the only thing that will last and never fail, and it is described as the very breath of the living God breathed out as life to me (Hebrews 4:12).

So, when circumstance seem impossible; when painful feelings just won't go away; when anger is all I carry inside me; when my pain can be described as all consuming; and even unto death - I must believe and be found in the Word of God. I need it as I need water and food. It is my life and my salvation. It is my strength and my song. It is truth because God has declared it so, and God is God and therefore defines all truth and reality, by the simply declaration of his words. For example - "God said let there be light and there was light" - Genesis 1:3 (a.k.a. truth and reality)

I must hope in the Lord! For my salvation is near! I must keep the faith! This is the declaration of the Almighty God. Life is found in his Word! John 1: 1-18

Motivated

Today, I realized that the highest and greatest responsibility/calling on my life is to obey Christ, as an act of worship, and take him at his word. For when I obey -- I choose God's glory above my own and when I do that my motivation becomes a pure and selfless joy. It is the only motivation that, in the end, will prove worthy and profitable when I stand before the Holy King of the Universe.

The power to be obedient is found in abiding in Christ alone. Christ is the Word of God.

It is when I keep trying to please myself and other people that I loose my footing. My security begins to evaporate like the rain, and before I know it I am a dry, weary, and parched piece of humanity grasping at what I can in hopes that it will satisfy me. I will grasp at whatever whether is be acceptance, romance, happiness, applause, or whatever else... I can just fill in the blank here _____.

But, if I am living in obedience to Christ and his word all thing may be lost in this life, but I will always be his and he is mine (Philippians 3: 7-10). Peace prevails in my soul. Hope becomes an everlasting and certain assurance. This does not occur because I am "good" at doing what I "should", but it is because my God is good to me. He is truly merciful to me when I turn to him in need, and he is full of grace and truth that I could never deserve no matter how hard I tried. He will not ever lead me astray, but only into peace, holiness and everlasting life. Is this not what I long for? Heck ya!

The Wedding Prayer

So, I am preparing to marry, who I am convinced, is the most wonderful man in the world! The Lord did provide. However, wedding preparation is not all that it is cracked up to be. Don't be fooled. In the midst of it I have often found myself feeling very inadequate, and not up to the task. But, there are fleeting moments when brilliant ideas do come to me. And thank the Lord one did, I found a song! And not just any song, it is going to be sung at my wedding and it is a song that exemplifies all that I hope my marriage will be. It is my wedding prayer...

Jesus, You are
Jesus, You were
Jesus, You will always be
a perfect servant to us
a perfect servant to death
even death on a cross.

Lord,
give us picture of Your face
show us the measures of Your grace
reveal the love of the Father
put within us tenderness
release from us all selfishness
That we'll consider the other better
Jesus, we are Yours
give us hearts of servants.

All we have is yours
give us hearts of servants.

(Philippians 2:3-8)
-Shane and Shane
"Heart of Servants"