Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, You have brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see you in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the nighttime stars can be seen from deep wells, and the deeper the well the brighter your stars shine; let me find your light in my darkness, your life in my death, your joy in my sorrow, your grace in my sin, your riches in my poverty, your glory in my valley. In Christ - Amen.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Life...
Life is hard today... In fact, if I am being honest, life has been hard for awhile now. Sometimes does it not just seems to be getting harder? Or is it just me...
Friday, June 18, 2010
My Greatest Treasure
A single minded, devotional, relational pursuit of Jesus is the goal of my marriage because Jesus Christ is my greatest treasure. And this is why…
Lets say that a single man who is single-minded in his devotion to Jesus Christ is moving through life and he meets a girl. And as this guy gets to know this girl he realizes that she is part of God’s plan to push him into the fullness of the knowledge of who Jesus Christ is and so he decides to marry her, because remember this guy is single minded, and this girl helps to lead him into a greater affection for Jesus. So, they get married and life is good, and marriage is good for 6 months, 12 months, 5 years, etc. Life is going really well.
But, one day it starts to go bad, and this does not mean that my spouse just does stuff that gets on my nerves bad, because that is called marriage. I mean really bad. I mean that you prefer to stay at work rather than go home – bad.
In that moment, because we are single minded in our pursuit of Jesus Christ and in our understanding, as we entered into marriage, that God gave us our spouse to loosen up our hands on the things of this world; to reveal in us our pride, to reveal in us our selfishness; to reveal in us how much we think everything is about me; and to reveal in us our absolute refusal to love one another like Christ and other people have loved us.
We realize that as God reveals those things to us, we can begin to press into him and confess those things to him. Like, “I do have a proud heart, I do want this and this and this, and I am more concerned about me than the other person.” And we remember that, Jesus’ teaching about having an abundant life almost always revolve around our death to self. This is why Jesus said, “Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies it can never produce any kind of fruit.” We know that we are never going to really walk in how life was designed to be until we can die to ourselves, submit and follow Christ. And in so doing, we learn to lay ourselves at his feet and we choose to continue to love our spouse like Jesus Christ loved the church despite the fact that it is extremely difficult. And the beauty is that in that moment a greater ethic of love has been created for the entire world to see.
Jesus is not after our begrudging submission. We do this because, Jesus is our treasure, he is our joy, he is our fulfillment, he is our goal, he is what we are after, he is what life is about, he is what happens after life, and so our pursuit is him and in our pursuit of him a greatest ethic is created – which is unconditional love. We do this because our hearts have been transformed by his unconditional love. This is why Jesus is the greatest treasure, and the goal of marriage.
Lets say that a single man who is single-minded in his devotion to Jesus Christ is moving through life and he meets a girl. And as this guy gets to know this girl he realizes that she is part of God’s plan to push him into the fullness of the knowledge of who Jesus Christ is and so he decides to marry her, because remember this guy is single minded, and this girl helps to lead him into a greater affection for Jesus. So, they get married and life is good, and marriage is good for 6 months, 12 months, 5 years, etc. Life is going really well.
But, one day it starts to go bad, and this does not mean that my spouse just does stuff that gets on my nerves bad, because that is called marriage. I mean really bad. I mean that you prefer to stay at work rather than go home – bad.
In that moment, because we are single minded in our pursuit of Jesus Christ and in our understanding, as we entered into marriage, that God gave us our spouse to loosen up our hands on the things of this world; to reveal in us our pride, to reveal in us our selfishness; to reveal in us how much we think everything is about me; and to reveal in us our absolute refusal to love one another like Christ and other people have loved us.
We realize that as God reveals those things to us, we can begin to press into him and confess those things to him. Like, “I do have a proud heart, I do want this and this and this, and I am more concerned about me than the other person.” And we remember that, Jesus’ teaching about having an abundant life almost always revolve around our death to self. This is why Jesus said, “Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies it can never produce any kind of fruit.” We know that we are never going to really walk in how life was designed to be until we can die to ourselves, submit and follow Christ. And in so doing, we learn to lay ourselves at his feet and we choose to continue to love our spouse like Jesus Christ loved the church despite the fact that it is extremely difficult. And the beauty is that in that moment a greater ethic of love has been created for the entire world to see.
Jesus is not after our begrudging submission. We do this because, Jesus is our treasure, he is our joy, he is our fulfillment, he is our goal, he is what we are after, he is what life is about, he is what happens after life, and so our pursuit is him and in our pursuit of him a greatest ethic is created – which is unconditional love. We do this because our hearts have been transformed by his unconditional love. This is why Jesus is the greatest treasure, and the goal of marriage.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Can't a girl get a vacation?
Today, along with a lot of other days recently, I have been simply exhausted. I just cannot seem to get enough rest. I wonder if there is something wrong with me?
However, today I was particularly exhausted. I woke up tired, you know what I mean, when you get a full nights sleep and wake up still in need of more. Luckily, in the midst of my seemingly endless days of exhaustion God has been so gracious to me. Work today was so peculiarly slow that it had to be by God's grace. The lull in my day allowed me to take it slower than usual, and therefore, did not allow my random exhaustion to get the best of me. God is just so good that way! He really does know what I need before I know that I need it, and I am truly thankful to him for that, today.
I guess God's gives little vacations right when a girl needs 'em most. And I am sayin, "Amen to that!"
However, today I was particularly exhausted. I woke up tired, you know what I mean, when you get a full nights sleep and wake up still in need of more. Luckily, in the midst of my seemingly endless days of exhaustion God has been so gracious to me. Work today was so peculiarly slow that it had to be by God's grace. The lull in my day allowed me to take it slower than usual, and therefore, did not allow my random exhaustion to get the best of me. God is just so good that way! He really does know what I need before I know that I need it, and I am truly thankful to him for that, today.
I guess God's gives little vacations right when a girl needs 'em most. And I am sayin, "Amen to that!"
Thursday, April 29, 2010
In the words of a great preacher...
1 John 3:2
1 Corinthians 2:9
I am like a child princess who is too young and immature to understand the favored privileges of my position or the royal inheritance that awiats me. Consequently, I may struggle with petty wants and throw tantrums over trinkets that pale in comparison to the riches that I have access to and the ones that I will recieve when I assume my Father's throne. As I grow, my God must disciple and train me so that I learn to behave like someone of royal lineage.
Throughout my training and maturing process I will begin to understand the unfolding value and implications of my inheritance. I will then someday experience the fullness of the inheritance, that awaits me. In the meantime, I must learn to act like a child of the King, and let the hope of future blessings purify my life
(1 John 3:3).
- John MacArthur "Our Sufficiency in Christ"
1 Corinthians 2:9
I am like a child princess who is too young and immature to understand the favored privileges of my position or the royal inheritance that awiats me. Consequently, I may struggle with petty wants and throw tantrums over trinkets that pale in comparison to the riches that I have access to and the ones that I will recieve when I assume my Father's throne. As I grow, my God must disciple and train me so that I learn to behave like someone of royal lineage.
Throughout my training and maturing process I will begin to understand the unfolding value and implications of my inheritance. I will then someday experience the fullness of the inheritance, that awaits me. In the meantime, I must learn to act like a child of the King, and let the hope of future blessings purify my life
(1 John 3:3).
- John MacArthur "Our Sufficiency in Christ"
Friday, April 23, 2010
"For the Good"
When darkness is surrounding me
by Your Spirit, Lord help me sing
that You are working all things out
Lord, I really need to hear you speak
Remind me in the waiting
that You are working all things out
For the good of those
who are called by You
for the good of those
who are in Love with You
That's why we sing
Holy God of light
I lay down my life
Holy is the Lord
Even in the storm be glorified
We like to take the blessing from You
Shall we not take the trouble too
You are working all things out
We like to take prosperity
Shall we not take the suffering
You are working all things out
Holy are you Lord
even in the storm
be glorified
-Shane & Shane
by Your Spirit, Lord help me sing
that You are working all things out
Lord, I really need to hear you speak
Remind me in the waiting
that You are working all things out
For the good of those
who are called by You
for the good of those
who are in Love with You
That's why we sing
Holy God of light
I lay down my life
Holy is the Lord
Even in the storm be glorified
We like to take the blessing from You
Shall we not take the trouble too
You are working all things out
We like to take prosperity
Shall we not take the suffering
You are working all things out
Holy are you Lord
even in the storm
be glorified
-Shane & Shane
Sufficiency in Christ alone
" In Him all the fullness of diety dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete." Colossians 2:9-10
Monday, April 19, 2010
One of my new favs
I am really not a fan of what this guy did but I really like his new song and video!
Recent thoughts...
No one can really explain marriage to you before you are married. Everyone who is married is married to a different person than you will be or are married to (well, I hope so at least). So advice often time less helpful than intended.
Marriage is a very illusive and mysterious thing, much like its creator, and it often times makes little sense to the average psyche, especially mine. You see, marriage is such a good and rewarding experience, however, it is good and rewarding in such different ways that one would expect. And, all at the same time it can also be challenging and difficult and that is part of the reason it is so good.
I am finding myself in this mysterious transition which people like to call marriage.
It is revolutionary and life changing, no doubt, and I am in the midst of it. I am a newlywed who is discovering that marriage is not all butterflies and sugarplums. It is actually more sweet and sour, and sometimes the sour overpowers the sweet.
I have found myself in a place of lonliness, during this new life transition. All the while, I am trying to love a man that I do not know as well as I thought I did. I adore my husband more than I ever thought I would before marriage but he has so many quirks, as do I, that I do not all together understand. I am, therefore, easily frustrated with him and it is often time for no good reason. I just cannot understand why he cannot address my continual flood of emotions like my girlfriends can (ha ha). I struggle to find patience and grace even though before my marriage it flowed so freely.
Like I said, marriage is nothing like what I expected, but is anything, in life, ever really like what we expect? I find myself missing the things that I used to be so ready to leave like living with my family, college and Chicago. Am I a discontent woman? I sure hope not, but it sure is how I feel. This place of living is so new and differnt from anything I have ever experienced before.
I want to be a great wife. However, I feel like my failures are always before me. I feel so unqualified for this gig. You know, like a little girl who is playing pretend. My husband, thinks that I am too hard on myself and that I probably true. Anyways, I am seeking Christ and his contentment and joy during this time of huge transition. Marriage is truly the unexpected adventure of a lifetime!
Marriage is a very illusive and mysterious thing, much like its creator, and it often times makes little sense to the average psyche, especially mine. You see, marriage is such a good and rewarding experience, however, it is good and rewarding in such different ways that one would expect. And, all at the same time it can also be challenging and difficult and that is part of the reason it is so good.
I am finding myself in this mysterious transition which people like to call marriage.
It is revolutionary and life changing, no doubt, and I am in the midst of it. I am a newlywed who is discovering that marriage is not all butterflies and sugarplums. It is actually more sweet and sour, and sometimes the sour overpowers the sweet.
I have found myself in a place of lonliness, during this new life transition. All the while, I am trying to love a man that I do not know as well as I thought I did. I adore my husband more than I ever thought I would before marriage but he has so many quirks, as do I, that I do not all together understand. I am, therefore, easily frustrated with him and it is often time for no good reason. I just cannot understand why he cannot address my continual flood of emotions like my girlfriends can (ha ha). I struggle to find patience and grace even though before my marriage it flowed so freely.
Like I said, marriage is nothing like what I expected, but is anything, in life, ever really like what we expect? I find myself missing the things that I used to be so ready to leave like living with my family, college and Chicago. Am I a discontent woman? I sure hope not, but it sure is how I feel. This place of living is so new and differnt from anything I have ever experienced before.
I want to be a great wife. However, I feel like my failures are always before me. I feel so unqualified for this gig. You know, like a little girl who is playing pretend. My husband, thinks that I am too hard on myself and that I probably true. Anyways, I am seeking Christ and his contentment and joy during this time of huge transition. Marriage is truly the unexpected adventure of a lifetime!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Prayer Request Updates
Jesus Christ, my God, is faithful!
I can officially check off of my prayer request list a New Basset Hound Puppy (check)! Jake and I just got this Easter weekend 2010 our new puppy named Henry. He is just the cutest and sweetest thing! He brings joy to our lives, as well as, the realization that we are NOT ready to have kids, yet! This is a great lesson learned so early in our marriage. Waiting on somethings is not all bad.
Jake and I are continuing to faithfully pray that God would open doors and continue to make his will for our lives very clear!
I can officially check off of my prayer request list a New Basset Hound Puppy (check)! Jake and I just got this Easter weekend 2010 our new puppy named Henry. He is just the cutest and sweetest thing! He brings joy to our lives, as well as, the realization that we are NOT ready to have kids, yet! This is a great lesson learned so early in our marriage. Waiting on somethings is not all bad.
Jake and I are continuing to faithfully pray that God would open doors and continue to make his will for our lives very clear!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Impatiently waiting on my God
Have you ever felt like there are so many things that you want to happen in your life and you wish they could all happen right now!? That is how I am feeling today. Maybe, it is my impatient youth or my overzealous personality or my great expectations that makes me this way. Is a fall into disappintment inevitable for me? Some might say "yes!", but I pray not! I want to expect great things from my Lord and my God but I do not want to demand them in my own selfish way. How do I pray bold prayers and not become disappointed if they are not answered in the way that I would have wished? I will humble myself and wait on the Lord. He will answer me. (Psalm 62:5-8)
Here is my wish list to God:
- A Basset Hound puppy.
- A job for my Dad that is secure and that he will love.
- Good couple friends.
- A good church in which to worship, serve and develop close Godly friendships.
- Health and healing to my workplace and the ministry that they do there.
- An anniversary cruise with me husband.
- Salvation to my unsaved family members (by God's grace and for His glory)
- Grad school for both my husband and I
- A compassion child to support.
- God's guidance in our finances.
I heard a quote that I am choosing to live by: "God is rarely early, but he is never late." Amen to that as I continue to wait impatiently for the Lord while knowing that He has always been faithful to me even in the "no's".
Here is my wish list to God:
- A Basset Hound puppy.
- A job for my Dad that is secure and that he will love.
- Good couple friends.
- A good church in which to worship, serve and develop close Godly friendships.
- Health and healing to my workplace and the ministry that they do there.
- An anniversary cruise with me husband.
- Salvation to my unsaved family members (by God's grace and for His glory)
- Grad school for both my husband and I
- A compassion child to support.
- God's guidance in our finances.
I heard a quote that I am choosing to live by: "God is rarely early, but he is never late." Amen to that as I continue to wait impatiently for the Lord while knowing that He has always been faithful to me even in the "no's".
Monday, January 4, 2010
Thoughts on Marriage as Ministry
Today, I was having coffee with a friend of mine, and she asked me why anyone would want to get married when everyone secretly knows that marriage is one of the hardest and most self-sacrificing commitments you will ever make in your life? And she also wanted to know why people make this commitment knowing that the person they marry is flawed and therefore unable to satisfy them completely. She also added that if they do not know that their significant other is flawed before marriage then they are kidding themselves. And if I am being honest with myself, and the broken world around me, then her question is a really good one.
A Christian woman told my friend that she was right -- marriage is very, very hard and constantly a reminder to you of how flawed you truly are. But, this woman had learned, through her marriage, that self-sacrificing love is actually the most fulfilling, purposeful and life-giving love anyone can ever experience. I would have to agree with this anonymous woman and her thoughts, on marriage. They excite me!
I am fairly confident that the purpose of marriage is to lead us into a greater understand of who Jesus Christ is and what he has done for us by giving his life on the cross. Within marriage we are also going to learn to need Jesus more than anyone else as our ultimate source of strength, hope and love. We are going to have to learn how to take up our cross and follow him into a life of giving to another person, above ourselves. This is why we get married; to learn to love another above ourself.
One can only achieve this when the gospel of Jesus Christ becomes real in our lives, and it must become realized through marriage, as well. Is this not what Christians want? Marriage is such a living, breathing picture of who Christ is and what he has done for us. Marriage, through Christ, becomes more purposeful and beautiful because it is just one more chance to learn how to live like Jesus and proclaim his message to a lost world through our unconditional love and commitment to one another above ourself. I am no fool, marriage will be hard – it will demand a lot, a cross even, but it excites me that Jesus Christ has called me to so great a ministry of love to another and ultimately to the world in which we live.
Marriage is a ministry that proclaims the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the world.
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