No one can really explain marriage to you before you are married. Everyone who is married is married to a different person than you will be or are married to (well, I hope so at least). So advice often time less helpful than intended.
Marriage is a very illusive and mysterious thing, much like its creator, and it often times makes little sense to the average psyche, especially mine. You see, marriage is such a good and rewarding experience, however, it is good and rewarding in such different ways that one would expect. And, all at the same time it can also be challenging and difficult and that is part of the reason it is so good.
I am finding myself in this mysterious transition which people like to call marriage.
It is revolutionary and life changing, no doubt, and I am in the midst of it. I am a newlywed who is discovering that marriage is not all butterflies and sugarplums. It is actually more sweet and sour, and sometimes the sour overpowers the sweet.
I have found myself in a place of lonliness, during this new life transition. All the while, I am trying to love a man that I do not know as well as I thought I did. I adore my husband more than I ever thought I would before marriage but he has so many quirks, as do I, that I do not all together understand. I am, therefore, easily frustrated with him and it is often time for no good reason. I just cannot understand why he cannot address my continual flood of emotions like my girlfriends can (ha ha). I struggle to find patience and grace even though before my marriage it flowed so freely.
Like I said, marriage is nothing like what I expected, but is anything, in life, ever really like what we expect? I find myself missing the things that I used to be so ready to leave like living with my family, college and Chicago. Am I a discontent woman? I sure hope not, but it sure is how I feel. This place of living is so new and differnt from anything I have ever experienced before.
I want to be a great wife. However, I feel like my failures are always before me. I feel so unqualified for this gig. You know, like a little girl who is playing pretend. My husband, thinks that I am too hard on myself and that I probably true. Anyways, I am seeking Christ and his contentment and joy during this time of huge transition. Marriage is truly the unexpected adventure of a lifetime!
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No one ever tells you how lonely marriage is for us women!! I found myself in the same situation as you very soon into our marriage and seemed like I was stuck there for a little while. Hang in there!! Love ya!
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