One of my new favs

I am really not a fan of what this guy did but I really like his new song and video!

This racisim must STOP! Now is the time.

Recent thoughts...

No one can really explain marriage to you before you are married. Everyone who is married is married to a different person than you will be or are married to (well, I hope so at least). So advice often time less helpful than intended.

Marriage is a very illusive and mysterious thing, much like its creator, and it often times makes little sense to the average psyche, especially mine. You see, marriage is such a good and rewarding experience, however, it is good and rewarding in such different ways that one would expect. And, all at the same time it can also be challenging and difficult and that is part of the reason it is so good.

I am finding myself in this mysterious transition which people like to call marriage.
It is revolutionary and life changing, no doubt, and I am in the midst of it. I am a newlywed who is discovering that marriage is not all butterflies and sugarplums. It is actually more sweet and sour, and sometimes the sour overpowers the sweet.

I have found myself in a place of lonliness, during this new life transition. All the while, I am trying to love a man that I do not know as well as I thought I did. I adore my husband more than I ever thought I would before marriage but he has so many quirks, as do I, that I do not all together understand. I am, therefore, easily frustrated with him and it is often time for no good reason. I just cannot understand why he cannot address my continual flood of emotions like my girlfriends can (ha ha). I struggle to find patience and grace even though before my marriage it flowed so freely.

Like I said, marriage is nothing like what I expected, but is anything, in life, ever really like what we expect? I find myself missing the things that I used to be so ready to leave like living with my family, college and Chicago. Am I a discontent woman? I sure hope not, but it sure is how I feel. This place of living is so new and differnt from anything I have ever experienced before.

I want to be a great wife. However, I feel like my failures are always before me. I feel so unqualified for this gig. You know, like a little girl who is playing pretend. My husband, thinks that I am too hard on myself and that I probably true. Anyways, I am seeking Christ and his contentment and joy during this time of huge transition. Marriage is truly the unexpected adventure of a lifetime!

I want a much cooler blog homepage...

Any suggestions?

Prayer Request Updates

Jesus Christ, my God, is faithful!

I can officially check off of my prayer request list a New Basset Hound Puppy (check)! Jake and I just got this Easter weekend 2010 our new puppy named Henry. He is just the cutest and sweetest thing! He brings joy to our lives, as well as, the realization that we are NOT ready to have kids, yet! This is a great lesson learned so early in our marriage. Waiting on somethings is not all bad.

Jake and I are continuing to faithfully pray that God would open doors and continue to make his will for our lives very clear!

Impatiently waiting on my God

Have you ever felt like there are so many things that you want to happen in your life and you wish they could all happen right now!? That is how I am feeling today. Maybe, it is my impatient youth or my overzealous personality or my great expectations that makes me this way. Is a fall into disappintment inevitable for me? Some might say "yes!", but I pray not! I want to expect great things from my Lord and my God but I do not want to demand them in my own selfish way. How do I pray bold prayers and not become disappointed if they are not answered in the way that I would have wished? I will humble myself and wait on the Lord. He will answer me. (Psalm 62:5-8)

Here is my wish list to God:

- A Basset Hound puppy.
- A job for my Dad that is secure and that he will love.
- Good couple friends.
- A good church in which to worship, serve and develop close Godly friendships.
- Health and healing to my workplace and the ministry that they do there.
- An anniversary cruise with me husband.
- Salvation to my unsaved family members (by God's grace and for His glory)
- Grad school for both my husband and I
- A compassion child to support.
- God's guidance in our finances.

I heard a quote that I am choosing to live by: "God is rarely early, but he is never late." Amen to that as I continue to wait impatiently for the Lord while knowing that He has always been faithful to me even in the "no's".

Thoughts on Marriage as Ministry

Today, I was having coffee with a friend of mine, and she asked me why anyone would want to get married when everyone secretly knows that marriage is one of the hardest and most self-sacrificing commitments you will ever make in your life? And she also wanted to know why people make this commitment knowing that the person they marry is flawed and therefore unable to satisfy them completely. She also added that if they do not know that their significant other is flawed before marriage then they are kidding themselves. And if I am being honest with myself, and the broken world around me, then her question is a really good one.

A Christian woman told my friend that she was right -- marriage is very, very hard and constantly a reminder to you of how flawed you truly are. But, this woman had learned, through her marriage, that self-sacrificing love is actually the most fulfilling, purposeful and life-giving love anyone can ever experience. I would have to agree with this anonymous woman and her thoughts, on marriage. They excite me!

You see, my girlfriends questions did not go far enough. They were honest questions, and I appreciate that, but the question that she should be asking and the one that I think she is asking herself deep down is: What is God's purpose for marriage?

I am fairly confident that the purpose of marriage is to lead us into a greater understand of who Jesus Christ is and what he has done for us by giving his life on the cross. Within marriage we are also going to learn to need Jesus more than anyone else as our ultimate source of strength, hope and love. We are going to have to learn how to take up our cross and follow him into a life of giving to another person, above ourselves. This is why we get married; to learn to love another above ourself.

One can only achieve this when the gospel of Jesus Christ becomes real in our lives, and it must become realized through marriage, as well. Is this not what Christians want? Marriage is such a living, breathing picture of who Christ is and what he has done for us. Marriage, through Christ, becomes more purposeful and beautiful because it is just one more chance to learn how to live like Jesus and proclaim his message to a lost world through our unconditional love and commitment to one another above ourself. I am no fool, marriage will be hard – it will demand a lot, a cross even, but it excites me that Jesus Christ has called me to so great a ministry of love to another and ultimately to the world in which we live.

Marriage is a ministry that proclaims the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the world.